Late nighters

I have been spending the past few nights drinking away into the night, with coffee in hand. Trying to get those creative juices flowing. It's difficult to think up of something out of nowhere, especially when you're personality is becoming more and more dependent on caffeine.
I shoot my work down just as it gets to the beginning stages and it's not yet complete. I tell myself I have to be amazing when studying fashion is more at the toddler stages of my studies. I'm over-loading my mind with information telling myself that I need to know absolutely everything for me and my work to be loved and adored. I end up calling a few friends to take my mind off the work load and ask for direction, then I tell myself, no, I need to do it on my own. Before I have even thought properly I shoot myself down, saying that it's too hard or I can't do, or a big one 'it's not original'. So then I go for a run. It helps but then I forget the time and realise it's 4pm and I haven't done anything. Run back home, hydrate myself and calm myself down.

When all logic is thrown out the window. My brain shuts down from all of the chaotic ideas spinning around in my head. Only when I blank myself out of reality is the place where I have creativity.

I'm tired of spinning around waiting for someone to point the direction out for me. But, I have to learn, I have to be dumb so I can take in everything like a sponge, and all I want is to be useful and happy.

I'm going to get things done.